Here is why I am against them.
1st: Mikasa, you Nassa. Because you are so desperate to have somebody to love, you get online and meet someone who is as just as desperate. And this desperate isn't the good kind...this is the desperate that we call (cough) horny deperate.
So you go online, register onto a dating/chat room site, upload the cutest/manliest picture of yourself that you can find, and begin your speed dating. You click on only the men/women you think will impress your friends and family at your sister's wedding, and of course those you can see yourself with aswell.
2nd: Angles and Editing. Angles and editing are important in photography. Without them, your picture will contain sunspots, shadows, a stranger you didn't know was walking by, etc. With them, you can make yourself look darker, taller, shorter, and most importantly, better. Did you know that if you hold it at a certain angle, you can make the camera drop 10lbs from your body? Did you know that you can erase blemishes, cellulite, and fat rolls with the power of editing? Think about those two factors the next time you think you have found Mr./Ms. right based on a photograph.
3rd: One in a million? Yeah freaking right. You are flirting it up with all these men/women, thinking they are all just so in love with you, but think about it; they are flirting it up with a million other girls/boys aswell. It's a one night stand online. You can do and say whatever you please to somebody because in the end, if they don't like you or you don't like them, you never have to see them, and it doesn't matter. Baby, are you wrong. You don't know the creep on the other end, be careful of what you let other people know about you! Didn't your mother ever tell you "Don't talk to strangers!" on your way out the door?
4th: You know everything only a husband would know, and I don't want you! Okay, so now your ready to meet this person and see if he/she really is your significant other. You have porn (I meant to spell it wrong) your heart out to this lad/lassy and told them everything about you there is to know! And suddenly he shows up with his pit-stained wife beater/beerbelly/I-only-shave-on-Sunday look going on, while she knocks on your door with that look that says, "yup, still livin' the 90's!" wearing up-to-the-waist carpenter jeans, no bra when it is obviously necessary, a shirt with a deer on the right shoulder, braces that start from California to Sydney, pigtails with, yeah, bows, socks that are rolled down and lined with lace, hideous white mary-janes, and to top it off - a bright yellow fanny pack tied around her hips. I mean, if that is what you are into, great. Congratulations, you have found him/her. Now the other 96% of us have to suddenly twist an ankle, remember that our sister needs us to help her with that thing...you know, that thing we told her we would help her do...., or start coughing up a storm saying that we are allergic to bright yellow fannypacks and bright yellow pit-stains.
So, if you this is something that still interests you, Mazeltov to you and have a nice life. Everybody else, thank goodness that cute girl just moved in a couple doors down and could really use help unpacking. Oh and that boy who works at starbucks gave you a wink last time you ordered your hot chocolate, vanilla frap, or whatever it is you drink. You won't catch me dead on a dating site, a nice breath of relief from my parents, and I hope you have the decency to just go up to somebody IN PERSON and ask them to join you for some crackers and tea.
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